One Big Dysfunctional, I mean Happy, Family
by Jedi Master Evenstar
Summary: Sequal to Luke's Bedtime Story, but you can read this alone. Luke's story may be over, but the nightmare is just beginning! What happens when little Anakin Solo comes home? Chaos. Time outs. And worst, Han's cooking! Chapter 14 Up! NO FLAMES!
1. 3 AM

**A/N: Before we start a new story, I'd just like 2 thank every1 that read & reviewed Luke's Bedtime Story! U guys rock & are my reason 4 starting this story! XOXOXOX**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I'm just married to it.**

It was the climax of midnight. The moon had just risen to its peek right above the Solo household. The whole house was pitch dark, but it wasn't a frightening darkness. It was a peaceful darkness. Everything was calm, an all was right with the world, until the peace was shattered by-

"Waaaaaaahh!"

Leia Skywalker Solo's eyes popped open. She looked at the clock, which read 12:02 am. _This kid is going to end up killing me!_ She thought. She rolled over on her side to face her husband, Han, who was still asleep.

"Han?" she whispered. "Han, could you go see what Anakin wants?"

Han shifted in his sleep a bit, then said, "Hmm? Oh yes, I do think Leia's extremely hot when she's mad. Please pass the gravy."

"C'mon Han!" Leia moaned, shaking him a little. "I'm been up twice tonight, and you've only been up once to get some water!"

At that point in their one-way conversation, Han was snoring. Leia groaned, then got up. "I'll go get Ani if that's ok with you," she said, sarcastically.

She got a, "Not now, thanks. I'm washing the _Falcon_," as a reply.

Leia rolled her eyes. This had become the nightly routine since little Anakin Solo came home two weeks ago.

"Poor baby. Mommy's here," cooed Leia, picking up Anakin in her arms. She sang him back to sleep, then got back in bed herself.

1 am

"Waaaaaahhhh!"

"What is it this time, Ani?" asked Leia, a tiny bit annoyed.

2 am

"Waaaaaaaaahhh!"

"What the (the following word may not be appropriate for some of me younger readers. And perhaps some of the older ones, too.) do you want?" Leia growled, her temper rising.

3 am

"Waaaaaahhh!"

Leia finally lost it. She wasn't usually strong in the Force, but when she was pissed, WATCH OUT! She used the Force to lift Han in the air, and fling him into the baby's room.

"Geez, Your Worship!" said Han. "If you wanted me to get Ani for you, all you had to do was ask!"

Leia put her pillow over her head and screamed into the mattress.

**A/N 2: After Leia's little outburst, Han's gonna start helping out a little more. But it may be the wrong kind of help… Read & Review! XOXOXOXOX**


	2. In Sickness and in Han's Cooking

**A/N: I got the idea 4 this chapter last week when my mom made "Shepherd's Pie" 4 dinner. Basically, u take all the leftovers from that week, put it in the food processor, then heat it up. It looks like vomit! It's not as bad as it looks, but it's still pretty gross.**

Disclaimer: Do I look like George Lucas? George: Male, gray haired, bearded, wears glasses. Me: Female, tawny haired, hazel/green eyes (depending on the day. Don't ask why).

The next day, Leia was sick. Really sick. 101-degree-fever-&-puking sick! Han thought about last night and figured that he owed her one. He decided that he'd make dinner that night.

He walked into his and Leia's bed room to find her sweat-drenched, sitting on their bed watching a Holovid recording of _Xena, Warrior Princess_. She had Anakin on her lap and a puke bucket next to her. She looked up, smiled at Han, then disappeared into the puke bucket.

"Ya know, usually Ani spits up on you, not the other way around," he mused.

Leia surfaced and wiped off her mouth. "Revenge!" she cried out weakly. "I can't make dinner tonight. The Chinese take-out menu is on the counter."

"Nonsense," said Han. "We've had take-out every night this week! I thought I'd do you a favor and make dinner for the twins tonight."

"No, no. You shouldn't have to go to all that trouble," she said. What she meant was, "I like Jaina and Jacen! You don't wanna kill them!"

"I know. But I'll do it anyway! There's a recipe my mom taught me that I'd like to try out."

_All the more reason to fear it. _Leia thought.

ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Han opened the fridge and took out all of the leftover take-out and pizza boxes. He emptied their contents into the food processor, then heated it up in the oven.

Back home on Corellia, his mom would do this and call it "Nerf-herder's Pie". Of course, back home, the leftovers were usually stuff like chicken and mashed potatoes, not Mongolian beef, pepperoni pizza, egg rolls, and unidentified mush.

Jaina and Jacen came bounding in to the kitchen from the living room, where they had been playing together.

"What's for dinner?" asked Jacen.

"Nerf-herder's Pie and hot-fudge sundaes for desert," said Han. He had thrown the bribe in there just in case. He had to admit it, he wasn't the galaxy's best cook.

"Gross!" said Jaina after Han had set down plates for her and Jacen. "This stuff looks like Mommy's puke!"

"Trust me, it's not," said Han, getting annoyed. It's one thing to know you're a bad cook, but it's worse having it pointed out by your kids.

"Did you mush up the pizza we had last night in here?" asked Jacen. "I see pepperonis! And are last week's egg rolls in here, too?"

"I think something in mine just moved!" Jaina exclaimed, poking her dinner with her fork.

"LOOK!" Han shouted. "IT'S HOT! IT'S NUTRICIOS! I'VE DONE MY JOB!" He sat back down and took a few deep breaths.

Jaina and Jacen blinked at their father's sudden outburst. There was silence until Jaina bravely took a bite.

"Hey!" she said. "It's not quite as bad as it looks! Just, try not to look at it while you're eating."

"You're right!" said Jacen, also taking a bite. "It just tastes like my mourning breath."

Han ran his fingers through his hair in an exasperated sort of way. "Did I mention how big the sundaes are gonna be?"

ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Han walked into the bedroom and sat down next to Leia on the bed and started running his fingers thought her long chestnut hair. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Nauseous," she realied.

"I'm sorry," he said, hugging her.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up, but I can," she complained.

Han kissed the top of her head. "Aww, poor Leia," he said, then added, "I made Nerf-herder's Pie for dinner tonight."

"I know," she said. "Could you open up a window in here or something?"

**A/N 2: Will Han become a better cook? Will Jaina and Jacen stop making rude (but entirely true) remarks about dinner? Will Leia become successful in taking revenge against Anakin? Read & Review to find out! XOXOXOX**


	3. Auther's Note and Thanx

Please, please, please, PLEASE don't give up on me guys! I PROMISE I'll have another chapter up soon! Science fair is mandatory for Gifted classes, and I really need 2 finish my project up. So, while my parents are at my little brother's baseball game (and off my back for the 1st time this week), I'd like to take a moment to thank all you lovely readers personally!

**Special thanks to:**

JediX-manSerenaKenobi

JessicaTheFair

dm1

opal

dragoneyes171986

rockyrelay

Pitdroid

JediMasterKitty

Yayamaya-AND-MoviesAnaka

jackyyy17

Addicted2StarWars

Jaina Solo Potter

AmyAmidala

Ledagirl321

**AND**

Grand Moff Trachta

U guys ROCK! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX


	4. Gungan Sibling Tradition

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, SORRY I haven't updated in so long! Science fair is mandatory for Gifted classes and it's been MURDER! My parents were always nagging me, my cat ate the first part of the experiment, and I ran out of Carmel Vanilla coffee creamer! This is the first time in a week I've been on the Internet for longer than 5 minutes!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I'm just borrowing the characters to help make people laugh until the fall out of their chair & break something! So in other words, I'm just trying 2 make the world a better place!

Time for another "Good News, Bad News" situation. The good news, Leia got better. The bad news, BECAUSE Leia got better, everyone came to see the new baby. And I mean EVERYONE! The normally spacious Solo apartment was packed with people from the former Rebel Alliance, Luke, Mara Jade, Lando, the ghosts of Yoda, Obi Wan, Anakin, Padme; Wedge, Biggs, and for some reason, Jar Jar.

Everyone was crowded around the new baby while Jaina and Jacen lurked in the corner. But the didn't mind being ignored. It gave them time to plot one of their many pranks. The latest one involved covering every couch cushion in the house with Silly String so people would sit in it (_A/N: my little brother did this to me on Halloween. Trust me, u do NOT want to sit in Silly String! It's murder trying to get the stain out of the butt of your pants! _). Jaina was just about to sneak into her room to get her can of Silly String, when Jar Jar stopped to talk to her.

"So, how do yousa like Little Ani Solo?" he asked.

"Fine, I guess," said Jaina, edging for the door of her room. She was only six, but knew well enough not to start a prolonged conversation with the brain-dead Gungan.

"Yousa no scared?" he asked in shock.

"Why should I be scared of my baby brother? All he does is cry, eat, sleep, then repeat in that order," she commented.

"Well, in my mesa home planet, when yousa have a new baby, one of the other kids hasta die!"

Jaina's eyes widened with shock. "You're lying!" she shouted, making the people standing nearby jump.

"Nope. Is moi moi important tradition. Helps control the population. So," he said dropping his voice. "I'd be careful if mesa were yousa." He patted a stunned Jaina on the head and disappeared into the crowd.

Jaina stood there with her mouth open for a few minutes. As soon as she regained her senses, she went to find Jacen. The had a LOT to discuss…

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOO ooooooooooooooooo

"That's not true!" said Jacen, trying to swallow the fear in his voice.

"It is so. When you have a new baby, one of the other kids had to die," said Jaina, shivering. "Jar Jar told me it's a tradition. One of us has to go."

"Which one?" asked Jacen.

Jaina thought for a moment, then a thought popped into her little evil head. "Well," she said, wickedly. "They only need ONE boy…"

A look of pure terror spread across Jacen's face. "NO!" he scearmed, then started ranting really fast. "IDON'TWANNADIE! I'MTOOYOUNG! I-" A thought came to him. "Maybe I don't have to die. What if we take him out first?"

"I like the way you think," said Jaina. The J Bombs put their evil little heads together and started plotting.

**A/N2: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE EVIL MASTER OF CLIFFIES! Read & Review! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	5. The Salem Witch Trials

**A/N: Last night was laser tag/bowling night with my youth group. It was pretty fun! We didn't get back 2 the church until about 1 AM, and then we watched _Zoolander_, which is now my new favorite comedy. We stayed up until 3 AM and now I'm too tired 2 function right, so I'm just gonna glue myself to my computer and give you guys the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Ok, if I owned Star Wars, do u really think I'd be wasting my time on Fan I didn't think so.**

"I have a idea!" Jaina exclaimed after 2 days of unsuccessful plotting.

"Spill!" said Jacen

"Way back then, in this place called Salem, when they didn't like someone, they called them a witch and had them tested."

"How did they test them?"

"I think they burned them at the stake," said Jaina

"Why would they do that?" asked Jacen.

"Because if they lived, that would mean they WERE a witch, DUH!" said Jaina as if it were the most obvious thing in the galaxy.

"Makes sense to me!" said Jacen. "But were are we going to get stakes?"

"Hmm…" Jaina thought for a moment. "Didn't we have steaks for dinner last night?"

"Yeah!" said Jacen. "We could tie Ani to the leftovers!"

"Exactly!" said Jaina. "I'll go get the steaks!"

"And I'll go get Ani and a lighter!" said Jacen.

oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

Han walked into the baby's room to get Anakin. They were out of food (what else is new?) and Leia wanted Han to take Anakin with him to the grocery store to "get him some fresh air." Normally, Han would have argued back that it wasn't like there isn't air inside, but he knew that Leia had been up most of the night with her Datapads, and when that happens, she gets kinda testy.

But when he got in the room, Anakin wasn't in there. Han figured Leia must have taken him to feed him or something.

He found her in the kitchen, looking over Datapads (surprise, surprise). "Hey, Honey. Do you know where Ani is?" he asked.

"In his room. I just put him down for a nap," she replied without looking up.

"Well, he's not there."

Leia looked up, confused. "What do you mean he's not in there? I just put him there 10 minutes ago."

"I'm telling ya. He's not there."

Leia got up and crossed the living room, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what going on. Jaina and Jacen were in the corner trying to turn on a lighter, while a screaming Anakin was tied to last night's steaks,

"WHAT THE SITH'S HELL IS GOING ON?" she shouted, snatching the lighter with the Force and untying Anakin.

"Language, Mommy," Jaina said in her sweetest-little-girl-in-the-galaxy voice.

"We're playing Salem Witch Trials," said Jacen. "Ani's the witch, I'm the witch hunter, and Jaina's the persecutor"

"Don't you mean prosecutor?" asked Leia.

"Nope," said Jacen.

Leia had heard enough. "Han!" she shouted. "It's time for an intervention!"

OooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo

Two hours later, Jaina and Jacen were sitting on the couch, facing Han and Leia, who were on the opposite couch.

"Kids, why do you hate Ani?" asked Han.

"We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him," said Jacen.

"Especially his head," Jaina added.

Leia thought for a moment. What were some of the reasons kids seemed to hate their siblings? "Do you think we love Ani more than we love you two?"

"Yes," the J Bombs answered in unison.

"Why?" asked Han.

"Because when you have a new baby, one of the other kids has to die," said Jacen.

Han jumped. Leia nearly dropped Anakin. "WHO TOLD YOU THAT!" they yelled in shock.

"Jar Jar," said Jaina. "He said that it's a tradition."

"Kids, you should know by now to never listen to Jar Jar. Jar jar is a brainless idiot that doesn't know what he's talking about."

"You mean, we don't have to die?" asked Jacen.

"Nope," said Han. "But you're both grounded for trying to kill your brother."

"Ok," said Jaina and Jacen.

"And one more thing," said Leia as they were leaving.

"What's that?" asked Jaina.

"Ani's not a witch."

"Are you sure?" asked Jacen

_These kids are something else! _Leia thought. "Positive. Now, c'mon. Let's get ready for bed."

**(Wiggles fingers mysteriously) You will read & review. You will read & review. You will read & review. And be patient for the next chapter and later, the Easter Special. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	6. The End of the Story?

I have decided not to continue this story. It is a waste of my time and talents trying to entertain the masses that I have never met, and I refuse to go through with it any further. This is the end of One Big Dysfunctional, I mean Happy, Family.

**APRIL FOOLS!** Ha! I got u guys! C'mon, admit it! I can't believe u'd think I'd stop writing! I'm sorry if I made anyone cry. I just had 2 get 1 last prank in before April Fool's day is over. U guys r great! XOXOXOXOXOXOX


	7. The Easter Bunny and Podracing

**A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! The f---ing Gateway tests are this week! They determine whether or not I get out of 7th grade. They give you about 3 hours to finish, but it takes about 1. Then, all you're allowed to do is read or stare at the wall. It just makes you wanna throw up! (sighs, puts on a smile) Ok, now that that's out of my system, I can start the chapter. I figured I might as well get the Easter special out of the way before Passover.**

**Disclaimer: Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase, Easter Bunny? Pleeeeeeeeeaaaase can I have the rights to Star Wars? The "Bat Mitzvah Fairy" failed to do so.**

Everything in the Solo apartment was calm and at peace as the artificial sun rose over Corascant. The only sound was the soft snoring coming from Han and Leia. For the first time since Anakin was born, they were actually sleeping in past 7 AM. That is, until Jaina and Jacen quietly creped into the room and jumped onto the bed.

"Happy Easter, Mommy!" they shouted.

"Right back atcha," Leia muttered, walking into the bathroom to get a shower.

"Happy Easter, Daddy!" they said to Han.

"That's right! It's Easter!" he said, then smiled. "Oh, boy! Let's go see if the Easter Bunny left us presents under the Easter Tree!"

"No, Daddy! That's Christmas!" Jaina giggled.

"It is?" Han asked in mock confusion. "Oh, yeah. Easter is the holiday where we dress up in rabbit costumes and go around the apartment and get candy!"

"No, Daddy! That's Halloween!" said Jacen.

"It is? Oops! My mistake!" said Han, pretending to smack himself in the forehead. "Now I remember! Easter is the holiday where Mommy cooks the Easter Bunny and we all sit around and watch Podracing all day!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the twins screamed?

"What's all the noise about?" asked Leia, coming out of the bathroom in a towel.

"Daddy said you're going to cook the Easter Bunny and we have to watch Podracing! DON'T COOK THE EASTER BUNNY, MOMMY!" the twins sobbed.

"HAN!" Leia yelled.

"It was a JOKE!" Han tried to explain.

"Just for that, you're sitting on the front pew at church today!" she said. "And that means you actually have to pay attention to the sermon"

"NOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Han pleaded.

OoooooooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo

"…And on the third day he rose again from the dead and ascended into Heaven, where he sitteth on the right hand of God, the Father almighty, from thence he shall come to judge the quick…"

The preacher had been droning on for hours, or so it seemed to Han. He hated the front. It was like he was being watched. He decided to get up to "go to the bathroom", but before he could, he heard Leia's voice in his head.

"Don't even THINK about going to the bathroom!" she shouted telepathically.

He hated it when she did this. "EVIL!" he though, sitting back down.

"I know," she thought. Han looked back to see her smirking.

**A/N 2: If you review, you will make me very happy! I promise that all reviews will receive replies, but that means that I need email addresses. So if you leave an anonymous review, PLEASE leave your email! Thanks! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	8. Name Change

**I am the auther formerly known as Beautiful Disaster American Hi Fi. I have an identity crisis, i know.**


	9. Luke the Sibling Therapist

**A/N: It is Mother's Day, true. However, I am not going 2 do a Mother's Day special. I couldn't think of one. But right now, my mom is getting her nails done, my dad & little brother are at his peewee baseball game, and I'm home alone. I wrote this chapter during Study Hall, which (have I told you this b4, readers?) is one step down from a detention.**

**Disclaimer: Lucas's, not mine. 'Nuff said.**

Luke sat down on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Mara was on a business trip for Karrde, and wouldn't be back for a week at the soonest. But Luke didn't mind. This was the first weekend he had to himself in a loooooooong time.

He was just about to flick on a podrace, when his comlink went off. "Skywalker here," he answered, as was customary in the time of the Rebellion.

"Luke?" a desperate sounding voice replied. "It's Leia. Would you mind taking Jaina and Jacen out to diner or something?"

"Well, I was kinda just about to-" But Leia cut him off.

"Please Luke?" She sounded on the verge of tears. "The cable's busted, Jaina and Jacen are playing 'When Grandpa Skywalker Killed All the Jedi', 3PO's driving me nuts, and I need a break really, really ba-a-ad" Her voice broke apart on that last syllable

Luke hated hearing his sister cry. It wasn't something she usually did. "All right. I'll take them to Dex's for your sanity's sake."

"You will?" she sniffled. "Great! I'll bring them right over."

oooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooo

An hour later, the three were sitting in a booth at Dex's Diner, with Jacen holding a ketchup bottle threateningly over Jaina's Coke.

"Do it and I'll beat the crap out of you!" she warned.

"I'm not doing anything," Jacen smiled, squeezing the bottle. "Gravity did that."

Jaina grabed the mustard and squeezed the contents into Jacen's Sprite. "Gravity did THAT!"

"Hey, thanks!" he said taking a sip.

Jaina flipped his burger in his face. The whole thing would have erupted into a huge slap fight, if Luke hadn't pulled them away from each other. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" he shouted. "Now, we are going to settle this problem that way your Aunt Mara and I do."

"Talking it out?" Jaina asked, making a gag-me motion with her finger.

"Not exactly," said Luke.

oooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooo

A few minutes later, they were in the training room of the Jedi Temple, Jaina and Jacen both sporting training sabers and sparing gear. They faced each other with menacing looks on their faces.

"Now, bow to your opponent," Luke said. Neither of them moved. "I said, BOW!" Luke sighed and used the Force to make them bow. "That's better. Now, you know the rules. No fatal injuries unless completely necessary. Ready? FIGHT!"

Jaina and Jacen lashed out at each other so fiercely, Luke had to back away in fear of being hit. They started calling each other names in almost every language known across the galaxy.

An hour later, they were STILL fighting, and no one seemed to have an advantage. Both Jaina and Jacen were bruised and cut pretty badly. Luke decided to call off the fight before they got seriously hurt.

"So that's how you and Aunt Mara solve your arguments?" asked Jaina as they piled into Luke's speeder.

"No, we use real lightsabers and no sparing gear."

"Wow!" Jacen breathed. "If my sister can fight me this hard with a TRAINING saber, I never wanna get married!"

Jaina and Jacen could swear they saw Luke smile in the rear view mirror.

**A/N: You know I love reviews from all you lovely readers! But if you leave an anonymous review, PLEASE leave your email address! I want to reply to ALL my reviews! XOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	10. Dirty Little Secrets

**A/N: I finally got an idea for a new chapter for this story. Most of my ideas come from my own dysfunctional family. But I got a pretty good idea from listening g to my parents last night. They don't always say the nicest things about are neighbors. I started thinking, "What if the neighbors could hear them now?" My parents would be in for a world of embarrassment, that's for sure!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. The Arnettes are based on what my parents say about my neighbor sometimes. No disrespect meant toward either of them.**

The next week, the Solo household was back to normal. Yeah right! The Solos had been invited to a dinner party at their neighbors, the Arnettes' apartment. The Arnettes were loud, annoying, and couldn't take a hint if it bit them.

Thanks to Leia's diplomatic instincts, and Han's inability to defy his wife, they accepted the invitation. That night, Anakin was asleep in the Arnettes' master bedroom, Jaina and Jacen were watching a video in the living room, and Han and Leia were sitting on the loveseat in the sitting room, listening to the Arnettes blab on about what seemed like nothing for what seemed like hours to them.

"And then Penny ended up eating Jenny's food!" Mrs. Arnette giggled. "You should have seen the look on that little Taun Taun's face!"

Mr. Arnette's nasal laugh awoke Han from his fantasy about being on a beach somewhere with Leia right now. He heard Leia's forced laughter and nodded, pretending to be listening.

Suddenly, Anakin's wail came over the baby monitor next to Han. "Uh-oh, the baby's cr-" Leia started, but Han had already jumped up.

"I'LL GO!" he shouted, sprinting toward the master bedroom. He was almost at the door when he felt Leia's voice brush against his mind.

"I'll get you for leaving me here!" she growled through the Force. Han shivered. Sometimes she _really _creeped him out.

oooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo

"Hey there, Big Guy!" said Han, picking up a whimpering Anakin. "It's ok! There's nothing to cry about. At least you're not out there with the Arnettes." Anakin wore the same expression Leia wore when she was confused. Han laughed, then continued.

"Talk about a couple of windbags! Yak, yak, yak. That's all they do. They haven't shut up since we sat down! And what do they talk about? Nothing! For a second, I thought it might be possible to die from boredom. You saved Daddy's life!" He spun Anakin around. Ani giggled.

"Plus, have you ever looked at the Arnettes?" Han went on. "How do weird looking people find each other? I swear, it's-" Han was suddenly silenced by the sight of Leia in the doorway.

Her cheeks where flushed crimson from anger, her hands belled into fists, and she looked ready to throw something. "What's wrong?" Han asked.

Leia picked up the baby monitor and threw it directly at Han's head with remarkable aim. It bounced off his head and hit the floor. "Ow!" he yelped, rubbing the spot the baby monitor hit. "What was that for?"

Leia just glared and pointed at the fallen baby monitor. That's when Han noticed the little orange light. "THE BABY MONITOR'S STILL ON?"

**A/N 2: I'm going to Honduras for a week with my youth group tomorrow, so I'd like some reviews before I leave. And since you probably already knew this was coming, XOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	11. Lemonade Stand

**A/N: I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to the beach for 2 weeks, then on a retreat with my youth group, so I probably won't be updating until the middle of July. But I'd like some reviews in my Inbox before I leave. I decided that before I leave on vacation, I needed to do a chapter that was purely summer. And a lemonade stand seems like summer fun to me. And of course, there's plenty that can go wrong with them.**

**May the Force be with you.**

**Master Evenstar**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. But I owned a lemonade stand in front of my house when I was 8.**

**ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo**

It was probably the hottest day in the history of Corascaunt. It was the kind of day where people just love to go to lemonade stands. At least, that's what Jaina and Jacen hoped as they sat at their stand on the sidewalk, trying their best to look cute. But then again, how cute can you look when you're sitting under a sign that reads "Lemonade- 10 credits per cup"?

Business was looking pretty bleak until somebody walked toward their stand. Unfortunately, it was only their mother, and she didn't look like she wanted to buy lemonade.

"You two have five seconds to turn our floor's water back on!" she growled angrily.

"Whooee! Looks like it's gonna be a hot one today," sad Jaina.

"Five… Four…" Leia started counting.

"Care to buy a glass of lemonade, Mommy?" Jacen said sweetly. "Only 10 credits."

"Three… **Two**…" said Leia, putting emphasis on the amount of time she was giving them.

"Okay, okay. We're going!" said the Twins in unison.

**ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo**

"I never want to catch you two turning off our floor's water like this again! Do you hear me?" said Leia as she supervised the J Bombs turning the water back on.

"C'mon, Mom. It's no big deal," said Jaina, working with the pipe.

"No big deal?" Leia repeated in disbelief. "You could have ruined the water heater!"

"We were just trying to sell more lemonade," said Jacen.

"That's called profiteering, and it's wrong," said Leia.

"Uhh… Do we have a wrench around here somewhere?" asked Jaina.

"I don't know. What did you use this morning?"

"This little handle that just snapped off," said Jacen.

**ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo**

Five hours later, the plumber had the water up and running. "You're back in business," he said between puffs on his cigarette.

"You fixed the valve?" asked Leia.

"Piece of cake," said the plumber, handing her the bill.

Leia looked at it in shock. "Expensive cake!"

"Ok, piece of Jedi starfighter."

"Expensive Jedi starfighter!"

**ooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo**

Han walked down the sidewalk and was about to enter the apartment building when he noticed his kids' lemonade stand. He had to admit it was pretty hot out, so he decided to give them some business. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when he saw their sign.

The "10 credits" was crossed out, and the sign now read "Lemonade- 297.85 credits per cup". The J Bombs smiled up at him sheepishly.

"I take it the twins cost us some money today," he said to Leia as he entered the apartment.

"Ya know, military school is starting to look like a bargain," she replied.

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**Loved it? Loathed it? Please read and review. And even though the old saying says "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Well, I don't mind if the review isn't nice as long as it's constructive criticism. I'll be on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so until then, XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	12. 1st day of School

**A/N: And so summer is coming to a close. Back to the old nine to five (well, 9:20 to 4, really). Back to classes, tests, and homework (grrr). Which, of course, means I won't be able to update as often as I'd like to. I promise I'll still write in my spare time (provided I have any).**

**For as long as I can remember, school has been a breading ground for germs. Has anybody else noticed that? If one kid came to school with a cold, pretty soon the entire grade would get it. I remember when I got chicken pox in kindergarten; I ended up giving it to everyone in my class. It's a long story, but it inspired this chapter.**

**May the Force be with you.**

**Master Evenstar**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, no matter how many times I try denying it.**

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Leia pulled her speeder into the parking lot of Coruscaunt Elementary. Today had been the twins first day of 1st grade, so she had taken the afternoon at the Senate off so she could pick them up.

She crossed the lawn over to the playground where she found the twins' class. She spotted Jaina walking toward her hand in hand with a little blond boy with freckles who looked about Jaina's age.

"Hi Mommy!" Jaina said once she had reached Leia. "This is my new friend Tristen." She gestured to the boy beside her.

"Hi Tristen," Leia smiled. "You have such cute freckles."

Tristen smiled. But as he did, more freckles started popping up on his face, arms, and legs.

"Uhhh… they _are_ freckles, aren't they?" Leia asked.

A teacher walked over, caught a glimpse of Tristen, and gasped. "CHICKEN POX!" she yelled.

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"I can't believe Jaina was exposed to chicken pox on her first day of 1st grade!" Leia said as she filled Han in about what had happened.

"What's chicken pox?" Jaina piped up.

"It's a disease, Sweetie," said Leia. "You might get sick in a week or so because you played with Tristen today."

Jaina thought this over for a minute. "So, playing with boys will make me sick?" she asked.

"Yes! Remember that," said Han.

Leia scowled at him. "You're not helping," she growled.

"Sorry, Your Worshipfulness," Han said with a grin. "So what do you think we should do about it?"

"I guess all we can do is let it run it's course," said Leia.

"Yeah," Han agreed. "It can't be that bad, can it?"

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A week later, not only did Jaina have chicken pox, but so did Jacen and Anakin. Leia had to take a day off from the Senate to stay home and take care of them.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" said Leia in a singsong voice as she picked up her comlink.

"Hey Honey," said Han when she'd answered. "Just calling to check up on you. How are things at home?"

"Just peachy," she replied sarcastically. "The kids are itching like crazy, they're bored, and the Holovid player just stopped working!"

"Aww, poor little guys," said Han. "Is there anything I can bring home?"

"A quart of rum and a trip to the Nabooian Lake Country."

"I meant for the kids."

"Oh," she said sheepishly. "I think we're good for now."

"Ok. Hang in there," he said before hanging up.

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When Han got home, he noticed the atmosphere seemed much calmer than it was when he called earlier that day.

"Hey," said Leia when she saw him. She sounded exhausted, but not as stressed out.

"Hey," he said. "It's a lot calmer in here than when I called."

"Yeah, well, I got them into an activity that they could do together," Lei shrugged.

Han was about to ask what the activity was, when Jaina and Jacen came sprinting into the living room.

"All done" they said in unison. They each had blue marker lines connecting the chicken pox on their faces, arms, and legs.

Han looked at Leia skeptically. "Connect the chicken pox?"

"Hey, you try to think of something!"

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**Read and Review! I'll try to update ASAP. Until then, XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	13. The Wrath of the Goldenhaired Girl

**A/N: Well, my first week back at school wasn't as horrible as it could have been. The first day started out pretty bad. I got on the wrong bus, I got lost each time there was a period change (our school just moved into a new building so EVERYBODY is having trouble finding their classes), and my Earth Science teacher talks to us like we're 5 or something. But other than that, it's been ok. I got the gifted classes I signed up for, and I like 7 out of 8 of my teachers.**

**I remember a time in preschool, there was a girl in my class who I didn't know very well, so whenever I talked about her, I'd call her the Golden-haired Girl. But when I finally found out what her name was, it turned out that it was the same as mine (I have an annoyingly common name, though everyone here on Fan Fiction knows me as Master Evenstar). I still don't know her very well, but it inspired this chapter.**

**May the Force be with you,**

**Master Evenstar**

**Disclaimer: Any character you recognize belongs to George Lucas. Any questions?**

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It was about mid-morning on Coruscant. It was a week after the chicken pox fiasco and the Solo twins were cured and ready to go to school. Well, except for one of them.

"Don't make me go!" cried Jaina.

"But you love 1st grade!" said Leia, as C3PO helped Jaina with her backpack. "You were telling us just last night how great it was!"

"I know," said Jaina. "But I'm afraid of the Golden-haired Girl!"

"Who's the 'Golden-haired Girl'?" asked Han from the kitchen table.

"She's a mean girl in my class," she replied. "She takes my lunch money, pulls my padawon braid, and calls me names like 'Flying Solo' and 'Padawon Breath'."

"Oh, dear!" said C3PO. "She sounds dreadful! I sure hope I never have to meet her!"

"Somehow I doubt that will ever be a problem," Han muttered under his breath.

"And worst of all," Jaina went on, as if she hadn't been interrupted. "She has long, scary golden hair!"

"Long, golden hair is scary?" Han asked Leia skeptically.

"You're asking a brunette?" asked Leia, smirking

Han rolled his eyes. '_Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer._' He thought.

"But Jaina, you can't stop going to school just because the Golden-haired Girl is mean to you," said Leia, turning serious.

"Yeah. You've gotta stand up to bullies," Han agreed.

"Daddy's right. There's only one way to deal with a bully, whether they're a girl, boy, or different species."

"How's that?" asked Jaina.

"Tell the teacher," said Leia.

"Punch her lights out," said Han at the same time.

Leia gave Han a dirty look. "You can't tell Jaina to hit another kid!" she yelled angrily.

"Why not?" asked Han. "She's got to stand up to bullies somehow."

"But not with aggression!" she shouted. "The New Republic Senate and the Jedi have learned to resolve conflicts nonviolently. Why can't smugglers?"

"Okay then. How do you propose she handles the Golden-haired Girl?" asked Han, trying his best to sound senatorial.

"With dialogue," Leia answered.

"What's dialogue?" Jaina asked. "Do I hit her with it or throw it at her?"

"She takes after you, ya know," Leia muttered to an before turning to Jaina. "Dialogue is when you talk out your problems instead of hurting people. It's how Mommy solves problems in the Senate."

"But Mommy, the Golden-haired Girl and I are like the Old Republic and the Separatists during the Clone Wars, and when **they **tried using dialogue, the Empire took over."

"Now who does she take after?" asked Han with a smirk.

Leia shot him one of her famous you'd-better-watch-it looks ™. Then she said to Jaina, "Remember what Aunt Mara says about Jedi trusting in the Force to guide and never giving up?"

"Yeah," said Jaina slowly.

"Well, this is one of those times where you have to trust in the Force."

"Okay Mommy," said Jaina. "I'll go wait in the speeder."

"When did you get all philosophical?" asked Han when Jaina had left the apartment.

"Luke gave me almost the exact same speech a couple of years ago."

"Yeah, that seems like something Luke would say."

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"Have a great day!" said Leia as she dropped Jaina and Jacen off I their classroom. But Jaina clung to Leia's leg.

"Don't leave me!" she cried. "I know I' supposed to trust in the Force, but I'm still scared of the Golden-haired Girl!"

"For goodness sake, Jaina! She's a kid your age! How bad could she be?"

Just then, a thuggish looking girl with waist-length blonde hair stomped over to Leia and Jaina with a smirk on her face. "Good morning, Stupid," she said.

"Hey! Don't take to my daughter that way!" Leia shouted.

"I wasn't," said the Golden-haired Girl, walking away.

"SEE!" said Jaina.

"Why you little," Leia growled, catching up with the Golden-haired Girl. "Young lady, what's your name?"

"She's the Golden-haired Girl," Jaina whispered.

"I know, Sweetie, but she must have a name to go with her, ahem, charming personality," said Leia turning to the Golden-haired Girl. "So, what is it? Bellatrix? Cruella? Morgan le Fay?"

"No," said the girl. "It's Jaina."

Leia and Jaina (Solo) both gasped.

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"I can't believe there's another Jaina in the Twins' class! And the class bully at that!" said Leia as she was telling Han what happened. "I mean, I always though Jaina was such a unique name! I thought it was her! But now it just seems so common."

"Well, maybe we should start calling her by her middle name," Han suggested.

Leia looked up at him. "Oh yeah." She replied sarcastically. "We'll start calling her Leia. I'll bet nobody's thought of that. I don't anybody named Leia."

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**Review, or a certain furry friend of mine will tear your arms off. Isn't that right, Chewie? (Growls in agreement)**


	14. T'was the Night

**A/N: I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long!! I'm even more sorry that I didn't post the Thanksgiving special I promised. I haven't done much work with this story, so I'm going to make it up to you guys with the Christmas chapter.**

**Review Replies (for those of you that don't read my other fics, this is how I reply to reviews now. If you don't remember what you said, this will be REALLY confusing):**

**Jaina Skylar: (Imitates Yoda): Glad you like it, I am! **

**Princess Zelda Skywalker: Randomness is my friend**

**Padmedelacour: Thanks! Uh, to tell you the truth, I really don't remember that person very much at all. I just remember that we had the same name. I'll bring Chewie in for this chapter.**

**Kagome-chan88: Thanks! I have a look similar to Leia's. It's called my Evil Eye™.**

**Addicted 2 Star Wars: Yeah, little kids' imaginations can really surprise you sometimes. **

**Something Indiscript: Thanks! I promise I'll update soon and more often!**

**Rockyrelay: See reply to Something Indiscript.**

**Ledagirl321: Yeah. Glad you like it!**

**Leia Michaela: Yay! Glad I can make you laugh! That's my goal as a humor writer. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking about resurrecting the other Jaina in a later chapter. Keep your eyes pealed.**

**Micki Skye: Aww! That's so sweet!! I hope that my absence from this story hasn't caused you to turn to the Dark Side! Or if you already have, I hope this chapter turns you back.**

**Jedi Master Kitty: Yay! Glad you still like it! Hope you keep reviewing!**

**Dream-Cat-369: I promise Chewie won't rip your arms off if you keep reviewing!**

**Sarah: I have multiple reviews from you to reply to. In order: 1. Yeah, I'm thinking about lowering the rating. 2. I don't know. When did I mention Wedge? I'll have to read back over my stuff. 3. Yeah, I've always liked Jaina more than Jacen. And 4. Don't worry. I won't send Chewie after you.**

**Savy: Chewie's on my side now! But don't worry; he listens to family. Yes, Morgan le Fay is one of my main heroes, but my parents said I have to pick either green contacts or purple. Glad you like the fic! ;)**

**Whew! That was a lot! I guess reviews really pile up when you ignore a fic for 4 months! On with the chapter!**

**MTFBWYA!!**

**Master Evenstar**

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T'was the night before Christmas, which meant that none of the Solo kids were ready for bed. So, as usual, it was about 2200 hours and all of the Solos plus Chewie were squeezed together on the couch in the living room to listen to Han read "The Night Before Christmas".

Han cleared his throat and began,

"T'was the night before Christmas

And all across the turf

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a nerf

The stockings—"

"Wait!" Jacen interrupted, jumping off the couch and sprinting to his bedroom.

"What's wrong?" asked Leia.

Jacen returned with a stuffed Ewok under his arm. "Wicket Jr. wants to hear the story too," he explained. "Could you start over for him?"

"Fine," Han sighed.

"T'was the night before Christmas

And all across the turf

Not a creature was stirring

Not even a nerf—"

"What's that smell?" asked Jaina

"Uh-oh. Looks like someone has a dirty diaper," said Leia, picking up Ani. "I'll be right back."

She returned 10 minutes later with Ani in tow. "Ok, we're back. Start over Daddy."

"Ok," Han growled, getting more annoyed with each interruption.

"T'was the night before Christmas

And all across the turf

Not a creature was—"

Chewie yowled something frantically in Shyriiwook.

"What's wrong?" asked Leia.

"I believe, Mistress Leia, he's saying that it smells like the cookies Jaina and Jacen made for Santa Clause are on fire." C3PO translated. "I daresay I don't think Santa Clause would enjoy cookies that—"

Leia cut him off by putting her hand over his "mouth". "What does 3PO mean by 'the cookies Jaina and Jacen made'?"

"We wanted to surprise you by making Christmas cookies for Santa all by ourselves," Jaina explained.

"Well I'm REALLY surprised now!" Leia growled sarcastically.

Chewie started yowling again.

"Chewbacca would like to remind everyone that the cookies are still on fire, and so is the oven by now," said 3PO.

"Right," said Leia, grabbing R2D2, who had been hanging up the last of the Christmas decorations, and sprinting to the kitchen. She managed to save the oven, but the cookies had been reduced to ashes.

"Now, if your two EVER go near the oven again, I swear I'll—"

"Do you want me to start the story over again?" asked Han sarcastically.

"Yes, please," said 3PO.

Han sighed and rolled his eyes. "T'was the night before Christmas…Reindeer on the roof…Santa…Presents…Nose like a cherry…Bowl full of jelly…Up the chimney…'Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!' THE END! Everyone go to bed!!" He threw the book on the coffee table and stormed off.

"Tidings of comfort and joy to you too," Leia called after him.


End file.
